I don't know why i'm saying this, but i feel like being very truthful at the moment. I'm asking myself questions that have no answers, I, myself is making me more and more confused. GRRRR. Does that even make sense? and besides I am suppose to be studying, not writing in here as well. Its only a few more days till yearlies and I haven't done that much. Whats wrong with me? Why is there no enthusiam in me when studying anymore? Well yes.
FARRRRRRRR
sometimes I just wish I could be someone else, or at least be able to go back in time and change all the mistakes that anyone or myself has done, BECAUSE i am so mad right now. why does it have to be me? Why do I have to suffer the consequences when it was someone else's fault. Why do I have to live with the people that brings me stress every fucking day. Why do I have to suffer it? I didn't do anything wrong. They did something wrong. Then why are they loving their life, while i'm sitting here and feeling like a burden in this family. If you want me out of your house so much then why don;t you just kick me out now? Why are you sparing me inside your home when everyday you keep saying that you want me out of your house by the time I am 18. Like seriously bro. WTF?
GRRRRRRRRR !!
You say i'm breaking your balls? WTF are you doing to me? Your fucking ruining my childhood years. Everyday I have to live in fear all because of you. The way I walk, talk, close the door, time i wake up is all monitored by you. like ? WTF? Did you have to kick me the other day, just because I slept over 7am? did you even know what time i started sleeping? WHY ARE YOU SO ARROGANT and HEARTLESS?
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS !!!!!!
You only care about yourself and say shit about others. RIGHT NOW, I am suppose to be studying, but you told me off for no freaking reason and that made my head go BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF * Right now i feel like tearing something apart. LIKE FARRKK BRO .. SERIOUSLY.
SORRY GUYS, I'm just a bit mad at the moment...
Sometimes i see other people, living with their family. I get so jealous. Why cant my family be like them? I dont need a nice house, nice car, or watever. I want the warmth and love that a normal family gives to their child. I really want that you know. Why can't I have that? Since the day i was born, my family was already torn apart, i didnt recieve any form of proper love. I wish i did. no wonder why i feel so lonely. I just realised the reason why.. because of that i always feel that the people around me is cold to me. Therefore. I dont know what i am going on abt now. BUT YESSSSSSSSSS !!!
OMG BRO. I am so mad, angry and pissed of at myself. Why do i have to be me? If this keeps continuing, i have a feeling it will lead to youth suicide. I am serious bro. My head feels like as if it is going to explode any time soon.
I'm jst happy because i can always have a cheerful expression on my face or a laugh at least. It keeps me happy, and of course my friends as well. They help me forget about the things that are happening to me once i see them. I'm really happy because of that..
Remember the days when i went on camp, It was the most awesome time i had, once i came back home and into the house. It felt like a jail. Eventhough i missed my bed so much, it felt like a part of me didnt want to be in there. I feel so miserable. Whats wrong with me. like seriously whats wrong with me.. WHATS WRONG WITH ME. I feel like i need councilling..
